Something I have to Deal with By Myself (Letting Go of Past Hurts)

They say forgiving is easy, but forgetting is another thing. Letting go of past hurts may seem trickier than forgiving someone, because when it is the past that hurts you this time, there is no one left to confront or to blame. I guess forgiveness does not happen the same time as moving on. Hard truth isn’t it?

It is one thing to be able to forgive someone. In any relationship, we are always bound to be hurt and also be the cause of the pain. I have realized thru many occasions that forgiving is only half the battle. For when the ghost of the painful past comes to visit, a fresh wound, which surprisingly still stings, comes back again and again.

And your first instinct is to be hurt, to be fearful, and to be shattered once more.

I am in awe of how when you have already moved on from an unimaginable hurt before…how when it had already made you a better person.. a sudden memory of it can have the same crippling effect like it is happening for the first time.

I guess it is different in a married relationship, where the haunting of the past can give life to fears of things happening again. A trauma, if you will.

So how do I let go of past hurts? How do I stop getting hurt from the thing of the past when I have already been okay for a long time? How do I take in these little things that remind me of disappointment and betrayal, and stop it in its tracks?

Letting go of past hurts quote. “One problem with gazing too frequently into the past is that we may turn around to find the future has run out on us.”- Michael Cibenko

How Do I Let Go of Past Hurts?

First I tell myself that the past coming back thru flashes of memory, or triggers has not got something to with that person who hurt me, anymore.

I am hurting right now, but this is all me. My own triggers, my own mind, my own choice of thinking. I cannot confront anyone for a mistake that we have both moved on from. It is merely the past trying to emerge from random triggers.

And no matter how much I would like to drag this event from its hidden box back to life, I can’t. It is something I have to deal with by myself.

I have to let the offender off the hook, even if I badly want to do the opposite. This is something I have to deal with by myself.

Just that awareness stops the potentials pity party on its tracks, and allows me to stand on my feet. I have this. I am in charge of this. I may have been hurt before, but the past coming back to me is now my responsibility, not anyone else’s.

Betrayal, pain and hurt can be like that. Even if you have made your resolutions before. Even when all is good and thriving.. sometimes, all it takes is a mere word, or a place or a scent.. and that wound, surprisingly fresh will come back to say hello.

But it is up to you now… whether to let it hurt and cripple you like it did before.. or will you let it make you stronger and better and better until one day, when it decides to come back again, you can only smile…and nothing will hurt you anymore.

Take Care of Yourself

I think about the time when I try to get over the pain for the first time. I treat myself with extra care but I remind myself that I am not a baby. I am responsible for my own well-being.
I find simple ways to feel happier. I try to be proactive for my own joy.
I have always find empowerment from inspiring books.
It makes me feel excited and empowered to know that I can redirect the pain by knowing that I can always reinvent myself, or be the person I am meant to be. To meet my highest potential.
Remind myself of who I am. I am precious, I am loved. I always get back on the other side, stronger and more radiant than before.
Know that my thoughts create my reality. I expect the best that life has to offer.

Your experience of someone who has hurt you, while painful, is now nothing more that a thought or feeling that you carry around. These thoughts of resentment, anger, and hatred represent slow, debilitating energies that will dis-empower you if you continue to let these thoughts occupy space in your head. If you could release them, you would know more peace.
Dr. Wayne Dyer

“Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.”
Paolo Coelho