While it is true that a day can only be as bad you perceive it to be, we can’t be all jolly and giddy all the time. We all fall short and more oftentimes than not, we lose temper, we get impatient and we all get annoyed. Bad days are okay. I forgive myself for having them. But knowing that I don’t have to go in all the way in its downward spiral has SO MUCH power. So the question how to find clarity when you are having a bad day, is actually a good question to ask. It empowers you to take your power back.
How to Find Clarity When You Are Having a Bad Day?
Remove Yourself, even for just a bit. Whatever this means to you. For me, it means going to an empty room when the day is going too crazy. When there is so much to be done, yet my kids are pushing my limits, and nothings going right, I spend time alone even for just 3 minutes max, to breathe and reset. Oftentimes, I will find that the only thing that makes it difficult is me holding on to a version or expectation of how things should be. Then I loosen up a little, then we resume business. Whatever needs to be done will be done, but whatever’s gonna come up will come up and I have to be graceful about it.
Deep Breaths. If you cannot physically remove yourself from the situation. Begin to notice your breaths and consciously elongate each one. Too often you will notice that when you are feeling tension, you are either holding your breath or breathing too fast. When you cannot remove yourself physically from a “crazy” situation, deep breaths can remove you mentally from it. It gives you the space to be. A gap that allows you to re-think your reaction to something and maybe gear towards a more loving and empowering response, or to have no response at all.
Absorb but Don’t Judge. If I am so deep in the moment and way too messed up inside, I find that resisting and fighting my annoyance only aggravates it further. I absorb the negative feeling, I allow myself to feel it but I don’t add anything to it. I avoid adding judgment, labels, and any comments. All this judgment happens in the mind, and I find that thinking about the negative feeling so much makes dealing with it more difficult. I just try to feel its presence in me, and not judge it.
Take Steps to Feel Just a Little Bit Better. I don’t beat myself up If I just can’t shake my negative feelings just yet. Like I have said above, I allow myself to feel it deeply without judgment. But as soon as I can, I make little steps to feel just a little bit better. I try to focus my mind on something that can give me even just the tiniest bit of relief. Feeling gratitude is a good practice. If I can do this, then I know that I am on my way to feeling good. I just have to take it one moment at a time. From feeling annoyed, I can soon feel a little shift in my feelings. I start to feel acceptance, then understanding. Soon, the glorious feeling happens when I feel something lifts up from my chest, something tight loosens up, and a sense of relief washes over me.
Interesting days are unavoidable, and negative feelings are a part of our internal system. We cannot just control what other people do or say, how they behave and how they treat us at any given time. However, if you know that you have freedom within to choose a more empowering response or to shift your perspective to a more positive one, then you are not a powerless victim whose happiness depends on what people do, or what happens on the outside. That is a choice that is entirely up to you.
The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation, but your thoughts about itEckhart Tolle